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Like every day in summer, when the weather was fine, they took a walk through the botanical garden. The sun was shining, reflected from Sally's smooth dark brown hair. She was laughing, and to Jonah it seemed that the world itself was laughing with her. The tips of her fingers lightly danced on the petals of a white rose.

"Did you know that, whenever you touch a flower lovingly, a dead fairy that might have lived in there comes back to life again?" she asked, her bright eyes illuminating his very soul.

"Yes, my dear", Jonah answered and kissed her softly. "Yes, you've taught me that." He put his arm around her and gently led her down the path. As always when he felt her warm, soft body beside his, he couldn't believe how lucky he was to have her. A smile spread across his face and he pulled her closer.

Sally laughed and kissed his cheek. Then she withdrew from him and ran along the lawn, arms spread wide to catch the wind, her skirt waving like a flag behind her. He followed and caught her, pinning her arms to her side playfully.

"Stop that", he panted, "people are already staring at us." He pressed his lips against her neck, inhaling the scent of her hair.

Together they sank to the ground, sitting next to each other. Jonah was still holding Sally. His lips touched her ear. "Do you know how happy you make me? I don't know what I would do without you", he whispered. "I love you, Sally."

She turned to look at him. "I love you, too." Her head sank onto his shoulder and he leaned his cheek against her crown.

Thus they sat for a while, until Sally got up and took his hand, dragging him along. She was always on the move, wanted to taste and see and smell the whole world. So unlike him. Jonah smiled and just trailed behind, enjoyng her company. She went to every part of the garden with him, making him smell the flowers and touch the grass and leaves. Just like every day in summer...



Danny was searching again, wondering how he had managed to run away this time. He saw people with confused expressions coming towards him. Some seemed to be concerned. 'Right way, I guess', he said to himself. It was always the botanical garden where he looked first.

After turning round a corner he saw a couple still not willing to give up their seat on a bench in the sunlight. His eyes following their stares, he spotted him. The lanky man with the greasy blond pageboy. Jonah. He was talking, laughing. His steel blue eyes were alive with happiness. A rare smile was displayed on his face. If only there was someone he was laughing with, but his arm lay around no one's waist. There was just the air of a warm summer's day...

"Dad!" Danny shouted. "Dad, come here!" He walked towards him, feeling the other people's eyes upon his back.



Jonah turned when he heard the voice. Then he looked back at Sally. She was fading now. The voice had caused the cut through her throat to form, blood running out over his arms. He felt its warmth; the handle of the knife in his hand; and the rage, because she wanted to leave him and their son. He felt the memory of how easily the blade had cut through her firm skin.
Her empty eyes were staring at him accusingly.
"I'm sorry, my love", he whispered, tears running down his nose. "I am so sorry."



"Dad." Danny touched his shoulder. "Come on, Dad. We have to go home now." He softly pulled him along, talking under his breath to calm him down. "It wasn't your fault, Dad. It was a burglar who killed her after he knocked you out. You know that. Don't cry."
©2009 =Lilith-Elina
:iconlilith-elina:

Author's Comments

Entered in the Best of 2009 contest. Wish me luck!

---

This was an entry for two clubs at once.
It has the twisted ending (I hope) asked for in a #Writers-Workshop (here [link] and here [link]).
It also fits this month's character prompt at *simplyprose : "This character is a man, woman or child who has lost someone close to them - whether by death, disappearance or some other means. As regards the loss of that person, your character knows more than he or she is letting on...!" ([link])

The first sentence in the dialogue was inspired by another deviation of mine ([link]), which looked so bad I revised it, making it part of yet another workshop (see artist's comment there). So, these were quite busy days. ;)

I wasn't sure about the category, nor whether or not I need a mature content warning for that whit of blood?

Critiques


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:iconnocturnalkitten:
D>

--
Take the hand of the reaper and follow him to eternity. :heart:
:iconlilith-elina:
:confused:

Thanks for the favs! :)

--
We're the people, the happy with the broken hearts,
The ones who draw a picture and proclaim that it's art.

(Johnossi)

Betray your heart with logic
:iconnocturnalkitten:
Poor dudes insane. o^o

--
Take the hand of the reaper and follow him to eternity. :heart:
:iconlilith-elina:
Quite so...

--
We're the people, the happy with the broken hearts,
The ones who draw a picture and proclaim that it's art.

(Johnossi)

Betray your heart with logic
:iconsimplyprose:
How sad! The ending seems all the more tragic and brutal compared to the lighthearted and warm beginning of the story.

The way you subtly slipped in how people were staring at Jonah is quite nice, as it seems as if the people were staring at them for being silly lovers, and not for the lunatic man he really is.

After the "He felt..." I think it would be better to keep the sensations as part of a paragraph instead of setting them apart. While the intention is to draw attention to them and make them more hard hitting, I think it makes things a little awkward to read.

Thank you for the submission, and very nice work.

--
Be inspired: *simplyprose and *simplypoetry.

Unhappy with our comments? Click here, and scroll down to see our complaints procedure.
:iconlilith-elina:
Thank you for the comment! It's good to know that it turned out the way I wanted it to. :)

I changed the part with Jonah's sensations like you suggested. It didn't look like I had hoped anyway. I guess it's better the simple way.

--
We're the people, the happy with the broken hearts,
The ones who draw a picture and proclaim that it's art.

(Johnossi)

Betray your heart with logic
:iconfred-s-kaed:
That was simply wonderful. The ending is particularly good, with all the compilation of slight twists being added on one another... the effect was stunning. got me a tear... a little one :paranoid:
Only the last one was a bit weird, not in what it is, wich is great, but in how it is said; a bit too blunt and cold for the reader(me).

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That will be all. For now. --_--
:iconlilith-elina:
Thank you for the nice comment and the fav! :w00t!:

Sometimes I lose my concentration at the end of a story... ^^; Maybe that's why it's a bit too blunt.
On the other hand, it's not the first time Danny has to calm down his dad. He has lost patience with Jonah long ago, so he says what he has to say short.

--
We're the people, the happy with the broken hearts,
The ones who draw a picture and proclaim that it's art.

(Johnossi)

Betray your heart with logic
:iconmirageode:
twisted story, indeed. i totally didn't see that ending coming. the abruptness and tragedy of the last paragraphs contrast well with the loving warmth of the first part.

--
kmtr

"Men must live and create. Live to the point of tears."
- Albert Camus

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